I swear, if I had a dollar for every time I had heard ‘unprecedented times’, I would be able to pay for every single person to have the rest of the year off and go into isolation. It’s almost as good as my favourite term from the floods many years ago, ‘INUNDATED’. Gah. These buzz words by media just crush my soul.

Anyhow, during these unparalleled, unheard of, unique (see what I did there journos- not hard) times, our leadership is scrambling for what to do next. Now, I get it, making decisions at this time is difficult, it’s impossible to please everyone. I understand, try telling a class of 16 year olds that we are studying Shakespeare this term. Same diff, right?

But some of these speeches are doing my head in. Literally, a summary of one of our Prime Minister’s speeches.

The Easter holidays are coming up. But remember, they aren’t holidays. And schools will open again on the other side of the holidays, because after two weeks of you all staying sensibly inside your house, we will have flattened the curve. But these stage 1 measures that we will be putting in place are long term and there will be more stages implemented. We can’t act quickly, because it’s going to take at least 6 months to get through this.
Schools will stay open, because there is no evidence that young people will get sick from it. It is disappointing to see young people flouting the social distancing rules and not taking it seriously. Young people need to remember that they can get sick from it and be a carrier to older people.

Stay inside people. Unless you want to go for a walk. Or get a coffee, as long as you sit 2 metres away from your date. Nope. Didn’t work. Or get your haircut, as long as your appointment is less than 30 minutes. Wait. NOPE. Scrap that. Hairdressers stay open.

Look. I get it mate. You are trying not to upset people. But maybe you just need to pull out your inner ‘Karen’. Make a strong stance. Like I say in my year 10 English class, ‘I don’t care if you don’t like Romeo and Juliet. You will read it Johnny, you will most likely learn from it and who knows. YOU MIGHT EVEN BENEFIT FROM IT’

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